The Lay Leader & Porn

Ironically, porn is a controversial topic in many churches. A father told me recently that he discovered his son had issues with viewing porn. Not knowing how best to handle his addiction, the father approached his son's youth pastor. The pastor quickly directed him to a counselor indicating porn was not a topic that the church felt comfortable dealing with. The father was stunned to hear that such a widespread problem was being ignored by his church.

Many churches are hesitant to tackle this important topic. Pastor's are torn between knowing many in their congregation struggle with the issue and yet the culture of their church is not open enough to discuss it in the proper light it deserves.

I believe that lay leaders of the church should come to the support of the pastor in a methodical manner such that the issue can be addressed in more than a fleeting manner. Laity should take on the difficult conversations with church leadership that believes porn is not a subject to be discussed in the church. Laity is the bridge to which important, life crushing issues, should be brought out in a loving light of support.

Marriages and families are literally being destroyed everyday in our midst and most sit by watching it deteriorate the fabric of our church and community. My challenge to church laity is to stand by your pastor and bring light to this growing spiritual disease.

For an example of a loving and complete treatment of the topic, here is a link to a message entitled Pure in a Porn World brought by Pastor Chuck Land in Houston, that I believe to be a great example of how this topic can be lovingly handled. Take the challenge lay leaders to bring change in your church!

Middle Class Attitude Down

"Americans feel stuck in their tracks. A majority of survey respondents say that in the past five years, they either haven't moved forward in life (25%) or have fallen backward (31%). This is the most downbeat assessment of personal progress in nearly a half century of polling by the Pew Research Center and the Gallop organization." -- Report: Inside the Middle Class

Distressed times make for distressed people. As the U.S. economy falters, look for the sentiment of the population in general to move to guarded self-concern. In this state of despair, the church will have a window of ministry opportunity to provide financial counseling, marriage mentoring and career guidance.

Special attention should be paid to congregational disconnect as concerns drive parishioners inward and less willing to be a part of community. Those churches who set up support groups and confidential lines of communication for community use will capture this down time as a spiritual time of growth and connectivity in their community.

To better understand the middle class views of your congregation, this 169 page free report is an excellent composite of their current attitudes.

Checkers vs. Chess

I prefer checkers to chess. I know chess is considered by many to be the more mature game of the two, but checkers doesn’t require as much thought or strategy. Sure, there is some strategy involved with checkers, but you could easily play checkers without having to think nearly as hard. Also, with checkers you can be more reactive if you were feeling particularly lazy.

However, one day I was driving and I was thinking about how I was leading my life, family, and ministry. That is when the metaphor of checkers vs. chess first popped up in my mind regarding life and leadership. I had been leading my life with a reaction-driven mentality, and often was moving forward impulsively hoping for the best and not thinking about how my current ‘moves’ would be impacting the future. I was viewing my life like a person who was playing checkers.

I’m not very good at chess, and perhaps this is one of the reasons why I do not prefer it to checkers. However, I know people who are great at chess and often think many moves ahead. They are responsive, strategic, and are aware how one move will effect another opportunity. When I realized this it hit me, “I need to begin viewing life and leadership like a chess player!”

As ministers, leaders, spouses, parents, and teammates we can learn a lot from this metaphor. Most of us lead our lives and all that is involved as lazy checker players. We have tons of opportunities and options on our plate and rather than slowly considering the long-term goals and visions we are serving, we usually react to the most appealing options and ‘fires’ that pop up. Of course, we all have seasons of life when this is inevitable, however, this tends to be the norm rather than the exception for many.

It is not easy to change how we view life, especially if we have forced ourselves into a place where disorganization rules our lives. I know first hand how crippling disorganization can be, so the first step to transition from checker-style living to living like a chess player is to get organized, which I recently did. Also, it will take some time to sit and consider how your current decisions are going to effect long-term impact on you, your family, your church, or your organization. However, this is imperative in order to shift your thinking and outlook.

Those of us who are in any leadership position have a lot that is required of us. The stress builds up quickly and we are forced to make a lot of decisions. However, it is possible to be more strategic in our approach and this is why I hope you will commit to shifting your thinking away from reacting like a checker player and learn to be responsive and strategic like a chess player. You will find that the more you demonstrate this shift, the more your people (family, church members, etc.) will trust you and follow your lead, and the lower stress you will experience in the long-run. Leading like a chess player requires that we keep the end in mind (capturing the King) while being intentional about the steps in getting there.

3 Types of Supporters

By God’s grace I have been leading a non-profit organization for over seven years. For the last few years people have asked me questions about the in’s and out’s of leading a non-profit organization. From questions like, “How do I file paperwork with the government?” to “What should I do first?” I have grown to enjoy helping people see God’s calling on their lives come to fruition.

One favorite question often asked has to do with gathering ‘supporters’ for the organization. I, along with most whom I talk with typically begin by equaling support with dollar amounts. However, looking solely for people to give money to your cause is extremely short-sighted. While I do not know of one leader of an organization who would turn away funds, I would say that an organization whose primary goal is to get money from individuals or organizations are missing out on the fullness of support that one needs in order to grow a healthy, thriving non-profit entity.

Over the years I have come to realize that there are several key support roles needed to effectively fulfill the mission of your organization.

The three primary types of supporters are Contributors, Connectors, and Expanders.

A Contributor is anyone who invests in the ministry either with their resources, their time, or their expertise. Without contributors the organization could not function or flourish. These contributors are invested in the vision and this is observed by their contributions to the mission. This is an obvious type of supporter, but not always easy to find at the onset of the ministry.

The Connector is an individual who believes in the vision of the ministry and is intentional about letting others know about it. They are driven to connect the leadership with those who would interested in becoming a supporter of the ministry. Without people who are willing to connect your vision with others who would A) be interested in participating or B) willing to support, then the effectiveness of the ministry will be greatly hampered.

Lastly, the Expander is similar to the connector, but this type of supporter is intentional about finding other like-minded individuals and ministries for yours to partner with. These people are gifted visionaries who are able to grab hold of the vision of your organization, accurately convey it to others, and effectively pursue new opportunities for the ministry. These individuals are unique in that they have a larger Kingdom perspective and are strategic in how they forge relationships.

With this brief overview, one can quickly understand that limiting ‘support’ to a financial contribution is short-sighted at best, but ultimately damaging to the organization in the long run. In order to effectively lead a ministry organization that flourishes the leader must understand the importance of enlisting each type of supporter. There may be some supporters who possess all of these qualities, which would be ideal. However, to dismiss someone because of their inability to ‘contribute’ financially is faulty as that individual may be a key connector or expander. To have a solid support base each of these support types should be pursued and nurtured.

Retiree Debt and Church Voice

"Sixty-four percent of retirees carry debt into retirement and among these, more than one in four (28 per cent) don't feel comfortable with their amount of debt. More than two thirds (68 per cent) of pre-retirees expect to carry debt into retirement." - BMO Financial Survey

The impact of debt can be devastating at any age, but consider the prospects of entering into retirement with debt. The expected norm is for a large percentage of those facing retirement to retire with debt in place. Without a stream of income to pay-off the debt, retirees will enter the period of their life in which they are suceptible to depression with the looming threat of losing their electricity, verbal abuse by collectors and the shame of not meeting their obligations. The paradigms involved can be complex, but the church can serve as a voice of clarity during these times.

Churches with a high percentage of aging adults in their congregation should consider providing financial counseling as well as emergency funds for assisting retirees in times of utility loss or lack of food. With funds in short supply, basic home upkeep will be ignored providing a ministry opportunity to retirees through home improvement efforts particularly those involving security measures such as exterior lighting and locks.

God's command to "honor" our parents should be taught and lived within our congregations to ensure that our desire for more does not ignore the needs of parents during these trying times. Conferences within the church to prepare adult children for the care of their parents will help them plan for the future with long-term care insurance, basic understanding of Medicare drug plans and estate planning resources.

The church must become the protector of the aged as the continued escalation of health care cost may sway some families to consider withholding care for purely economic reasons. The establishment of Ethics Advisory Teams by churches in the community would be a welcome voice of reason and support for families struggling with the complexity and emotions of these decisions.

Courtesy of Trend Ping

Step 1 of Fulfilling Your Vision - (Engaging Ministry Champions vs. Lay Leaders)

Vision, to be implemented, requires champions. Champions are more than traditional “lay leaders” who show up for a meeting or two each month. They are special souls who are, or can become, as passionate as you are for the work that God has set before you. They are highly motivated by a sense of urgency to accomplish the vision you have put forth. They are energetic, creative and tireless in their pursuit of your vision. They are the people of your dreams. I suspect that at this very moment you are yearning for these champions. You can find them, but before we go further, we should distinguish between their way of thinking and that of lay leaders. The subtle difference between the world in which lay leaders live and the world in which you are calling them to serve -- makes a big difference. Here’s why.

Many a community leader and executive turned deacon, elder or teacher have underestimated the subtle, yet powerful distinction between the world in which they work and the church -- namely -- the power of employment.

There is something very controlling about having an employee’s paycheck at risk if he or she refuses to follow your vision. Countless Americans wake up each morning and head off to jobs they disdain. Yet, they do it. They tolerate the boss’s bad jokes, they endure the close confines of the cubicle, they trudge forward in a world of back-stabbing and inefficiency for one reason -- they don’t want to be fired - they need the job. For the most part -- they do what they are told, silently, begrudgingly. They do it. Not the case, though, when they are at church.

Something magically sinister happens when they enter the hallowed halls of church -- they become the recipient of their make-believe “God-given” right to criticize, chastise and rebuke. No individual, no minor detail escapes their critique. The pastor’s hair, the color of the carpet, the quality of the toilet paper, all fall prey to their biting tongue. The very same cheapo toilet paper found at church is silently endured at their workplace, but at church it is now an insult to their spirituality promulgated by none other than the Senior Pastor and it must be stopped with the execution of a curtly worded demand for his resignation appropriately signed anonymous. And so goes the difference between “at work” and “at church.”

It’s a difference that is lost on most well meaning business execs who serve on what they believe to be board-like positions at church. They miss the fact that the pastoral staff is holding it together on borrowed and begged time from volunteers. They don’t get that pastors have one of the most difficult roles in any organization. They treat a church like a business in which the pastor is a well-meaning but somewhat idealistic good guy who just needs to be guided. They don’t get that the pastor is God’s representative on site to ensure that God’s will is accomplished. They try to force what they know on an organization that is far more than what they can ever hope to know. They don’t get it, so they should not lead. They are different than champions -- they are merely leaders. The church doesn’t need more management technique wielding lay leaders. The church needs champions.

Lay leaders like to lead. But champions lead without knowing it. They draw people to the ministry. They recruit others to the effort by merely describing what God desires for their life. Champions support pastors in ways they could never imagine and in many instances without the pastor realizing so. Champions get things done without leaving a trail of bodies behind. Champions are rare in churches and even more rare in the corporate world which is why pastors need to look beyond the obvious business leaders and find the champions -- the inspired leaders that endear others to their leadership.

To successfully fulfill your vision and calling, you must have champions. To find these rare leaders will require some thoughtful observation and prayer. They are there. They are not easily visible because you have been taught to look in the wrong places. Step one toward reaching your vision is to find them. Once your champions are in place, the journey toward your vision involves a few additional simple principles (to be covered later in this series) coupled with the discipline of pursuit that only God can energize within you. With champions -- it is possible.

If you would like to pursue that journey through this series, let’s start with identifying some potential champions. Make a list of 12 individuals (yes, 12, worked well one other time) you believe have the capacity to be a ministry champion. Think of people who have joy in their life, who don’t have hungry egos, who have a heart for the things of Christ. Consider these people regardless of their position in life. You are looking for heart not title. Make the list and live with it a couple of weeks before moving to step two -- which is our next article in this series as we plot the path toward bringing your vision to life.

Here are the links to all 4 steps:

Step One - Engaging Ministry Champions
Step Two - Defining an Urgent Purpose
Step Three - Focused Communication
Step Four - Aligning Effort