How to Respect Your Pastor

It's not something we as lay leaders say out loud but we think it. We generally think of pastors respecting our leadership not the other way around. After all, we conclude, that we lead "real organizations" in the "real world" with challenges that far exceed the study and preach routine of a pastor.

You may not admit it, even to yourself, but most lay leaders have been there. It is an inappropriate view of all involved.

I believe that being a pastor is one of the hardest "jobs" known to man. Their leadership skills are tried and challenged every single day by church members and leaders who do not respect their abilities or authority. We often see the pastor as someone who was brought into this world by a committee and can be easily taken out of this world by committee. We underestimate the amount of personal challenge they experience in their role. They need and are due our respect.

In general, to fully respect someone, we must understand who they are as a person and what they are encountering in their journey. This is difficult information to garner from a pastor. They are often not at liberty to share with us the who and what of their difficult day. They are not comfortable sharing with us their genuine feelings and frustrations. Pastors often isolate themselves internally to project an external persona as expected by their congregation.

To respect we must understand and to understand we must gain trust. Gaining and cherishing a pastor's trust is an important element of becoming an exceptional lay leader. It takes quiet times of listening to your pastor's fears, goals and frustrations without judging or offering the bullet points of generic success. The trust building conversations will start small and inconsequential. Your pastor must learn they can trust you. When they find that you break that trust, you will not have the opportunity to respect them. When they find that you step up to champion their cause and their performance, they will begin to trust your motives as genuine.

If you distrust your pastor, it is your obligation to remedy that relationship. Our pastor is given obligations by God on our behalf. God has given us obligations as lay leaders to respect that authority and pastoral position in meaningful way. End the cycles of distrust in your church by reaching out to your pastor with respect.