Non-negotiable Statements

We all have those momentary regrets when we wish we hadn’t committed to something. You know the feeling, as your energy sinks sitting there over dinner with a new grad from the selling you anything program. You knew it was coming when the invitation came your way and you were a little surprised that your brain agreed to the proposal without question even though it was the same night as your child’s soccer game.

The trick to staying out of these situations is being very disciplined about your list of non-negotiables. Having a list, which is the first step, allows you to depend on predetermined life rules that you follow without having to think or even feel bad about evoking the rule. In this example your list would include: (1) I will attend all of my child’s soccer games and (2) I believe that pyramid sales arrangements are detrimental to relationships so I won’t participate in them or purchase from them. (Don’t mean to offend anyone, this is just one of mine.)

Your list should be no more than 10 or so really important pre-made decision points that you’ve given great thought to before you place them on the list making it far easier to make a quick decision when the occasion arises. It’s also instructive, when time permits, to tell someone who has asked you to violate your list, what a non-negotiable list is and how you use it to better define and manage your life.

Non-negotiable will vary wildly from person to person but they all follow certain parameters. Items on the list should be those circumstances that are more subtle than expected moral guides. For example a non-negotiable list would not include prohibition from dating others when you are married or destroying your neighbors garden. These are expected norms and you really shouldn’t have to think about whether they are right or wrong. Your non-negotiable list will include pre-made decisions that you have likely not followed in the past to your disappointment.

Non-negotiable statements should cover decisions that you have been called on in the past to quickly respond to -- such as “I won’t agree to a private lunch with someone of the opposite sex unless I inform my spouse of the “when and where” ahead of time. (One of my own.) Your list helps set parameters to situations that could be a problem, mis-interpreted or something that you just don‘t want to do.

Non-negotiable lists can also be developed for your office or family, creating a rule set that all will know the importance of and will use as a pre-made decision that develops a cultural norm for the environment.

Let your non-negotiable list serve as your protection system to maintain your integrity, productivity and energy.

Here are a few suggested non-negotiable statements to stimulate your thinking:

I won’t schedule any meetings before 8 a.m.
I will always be home for dinner with my family.
I won’t let my car gas tank get below a quarter tank.
I won’t be on the computer while in bed.
I will only use a debit card or cash for my purchases.
I will close my office door and I am not to be disturbed on Tuesdays.
I will not give my email address to people I do not know.
I will have breakfast with my best friend every third Saturday of the month.
I will have a time of meditation from 6 a.m. to 7 a.m. daily.
I will clean my closet every second Saturday of the month.
I will leave work everyday with my inbox empty.
I will not text message while driving.
I will stand up when someone enters my office to shorten the conversation.
I will return voice messages at 3 p.m. daily.
I will not meet with Bill unless he makes an appointment.

How to Prioritize

Prioritization is a topic that is touted in thousands of books, websites and articles defining the 5 easy steps toward greater productivity; but we still fail to be a people of prioritization. The steps are “easy” but the discipline of doing it is tough to follow. We lack motivation to perform. If that’s you -- that’s the first indication that you are not focused on important work.

Rather than focus on the “how” to prioritize -- make a list, consider the time frame, secure the resources, blah, blah, blah -- it is more productive to focus on the particular “why” of the task ahead. The “why” we want to do something is far more motivational than ranking the various opportunities that face us.

Each project under consideration for the investment of our precious time should be vigorously interrogated as to its benefit to our overall productivity, well-being and purpose. It is very easy to not do something if it really isn’t important to us. Things of importance will naturally rank high on your to-do list.

We prioritize without purpose if we are not in constant view of our goals. By clearly defining in generalities what you want to accomplish at work, home or in life, you take a big step forward toward prioritizing your energy and time. If you don’t know where you are headed, prioritization efforts don’t have a standard to which to measure their importance.

Once you have a clear understanding of your purpose and desired impact, simply record the next step in getting there (GTD basics) in your capture system. If you don’t have a system to capture your next action items, start with index cards. Write a single opportunity for action on each card. Align them on the table in the order you feel best reflects your purpose. Study the order and adjust areas that don’t feel right. Once you have them in an order that makes sense for your goals, number them, pop them in your pocket -- you now have a prioritized list and a system that you can adjust to your own preference of doing work.

The bigger issue is not the order in which you do things -- it is having the discipline of not doing things that are not aligned with your purpose or mission. A mission should be motivating. Prioritization should be simple, focused on the next action item and allow intuition to evaluate your flexible steps. The discipline of following through on your list is the key to growing comfortable and dependent on your prioritization process.

Checkers vs. Chess

I prefer checkers to chess. I know chess is considered by many to be the more mature game of the two, but checkers doesn’t require as much thought or strategy. Sure, there is some strategy involved with checkers, but you could easily play checkers without having to think nearly as hard. Also, with checkers you can be more reactive if you were feeling particularly lazy.

However, one day I was driving and I was thinking about how I was leading my life, family, and ministry. That is when the metaphor of checkers vs. chess first popped up in my mind regarding life and leadership. I had been leading my life with a reaction-driven mentality, and often was moving forward impulsively hoping for the best and not thinking about how my current ‘moves’ would be impacting the future. I was viewing my life like a person who was playing checkers.

I’m not very good at chess, and perhaps this is one of the reasons why I do not prefer it to checkers. However, I know people who are great at chess and often think many moves ahead. They are responsive, strategic, and are aware how one move will effect another opportunity. When I realized this it hit me, “I need to begin viewing life and leadership like a chess player!”

As ministers, leaders, spouses, parents, and teammates we can learn a lot from this metaphor. Most of us lead our lives and all that is involved as lazy checker players. We have tons of opportunities and options on our plate and rather than slowly considering the long-term goals and visions we are serving, we usually react to the most appealing options and ‘fires’ that pop up. Of course, we all have seasons of life when this is inevitable, however, this tends to be the norm rather than the exception for many.

It is not easy to change how we view life, especially if we have forced ourselves into a place where disorganization rules our lives. I know first hand how crippling disorganization can be, so the first step to transition from checker-style living to living like a chess player is to get organized, which I recently did. Also, it will take some time to sit and consider how your current decisions are going to effect long-term impact on you, your family, your church, or your organization. However, this is imperative in order to shift your thinking and outlook.

Those of us who are in any leadership position have a lot that is required of us. The stress builds up quickly and we are forced to make a lot of decisions. However, it is possible to be more strategic in our approach and this is why I hope you will commit to shifting your thinking away from reacting like a checker player and learn to be responsive and strategic like a chess player. You will find that the more you demonstrate this shift, the more your people (family, church members, etc.) will trust you and follow your lead, and the lower stress you will experience in the long-run. Leading like a chess player requires that we keep the end in mind (capturing the King) while being intentional about the steps in getting there.

Should vs. Could

It’s like watching a wave roll across the ocean to see seemingly great ideas make their way through the church circuit. Tends to be a great deal of “me-too” going on these days when it comes to good ideas. Some ideas, though, are not so great.

Church #1 thinks it would be very unique and oh-so “post-something-or-other” for the pastor to read poetry barefoot in a hemp robe and before you know it, the local doctor has pastors from Church # 2-5 lined up to get medication for the hemp-robe-rash going around town. It’s a viral reaction when we see a great idea and feel compelled to call it our own. We just can't help it.

Yet, great ideas can range from distractive to destructive when we fail to consider the difference between “should” and “could” decisions. A great idea is only great if it fit’s the urgent and specific purpose to which our church is called, organized and inclined to pursue. A great idea that doesn’t fit the specific purpose to which you are directing your strategic focus-- is not a great idea.

During the course of your planning, thinking, showering, driving -- you will generate thousands of potentially great ideas, but you must carefully remind yourself that you “could” certainly implement that creative aha (because after all, you are the pastor, no out of touch deacon could withstand the awesome power of this Wow of an effort) -- but, “should” you implement the masterpiece is the big question.

Ideas that do not fit your purpose are counter-productive and time consuming. They often require additional expenditure to overcome their ill-fitting impact and momentum devouring force. As a leader your greatest contribution to your organization hinges on your judgment. Think it through. Don’t fall prey to the victimization of a great idea that is a “could” but not a “should.”

Pastor's Priority

Life has many choices. Thousands of times a day we are faced with making a choice -- clothes to wear, books to read, calls to take or ignore. The efficiency of our day is predicated on the skill at which we make these choices. By choosing actions that are aligned with our goals, we experience productivity and feelings of accomplishment. To select otherwise, results in feeling overwhelmed and off-center.

In a recent survey of pastors conducted by Transform Ministries, prioritizing daily actions was listed as one of their greatest challenges. Understandably, pastors are faced with more opportunities in a day than they can hope to accomplish. Pastors serve a unique and difficult role in the church that compounds the difficulty of prioritization.

In my 25 years of executive leadership positions in for-profit and non-profit organizations, as well as providing leadership coaching to pastors, I have concluded that by far, one of the most difficult organizations to lead is the church. Primarily fueled by “volunteer” efforts and an individualistic spirit, the church is a complex organization that is often plagued by mis-alignment of intent which fuels the difficulty pastors find in prioritizing. Every member has a unique perception as to how the pastor should spend their time, and frequently, members of the congregation use the “democratic” platform that they believe the church should offer to them, to convey their beliefs.

As difficult as it may be, there are still some basic guidelines that pastors can use to prioritize their efforts and those of their congregation. Humans act like humans regardless the setting, making leadership principles a bit more generic than many leaders recognize.

The ability to effectively set priorities is in its basic form a question of alignment. Alignment simply means that all efforts in the organization are focused on agreed upon goals with everyone working in concert toward those accomplishments. Once purpose is established and agreed upon by the organization, prioritizing becomes much easier. The equation becomes:

Urgent Purpose + Focused Communication + Aligned Efforts = Success

Prioritization occurs as we select tasks based upon their support of the above three areas. If an activity does not support the urgent purpose of our church, then it should not be a priority. If a meeting is not used to communicate the urgent purpose or organize an aligned effort, it is not a high priority of our time or the time of others in our church. If an activity is not aligned with the urgent purpose, it will be wasted time at best or counter-productive to our goals in the worse sense.

Of course, simple equations often attempt to overlay simple answers on complex issues, but they can serve as an effective “screen” to determine the impact of a considered choice. In general, the mis-alignment of church efforts toward an undefined purpose, has caused considerable disruption among the congregation and frustration with the pastor’s calling.

Step back and ask yourself if you have appropriately completed the success equation for your church. It will become your effective tool for prioritization.

For additional insight into the connection between alignment and accountability, click here to read an additional article at http://www.rodbrace.com/

Convergence welcomes your comments, questions and advice for our readers.